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How Well Do You Listen?

Note From Jim:

Listening is a crutial skill, one that's a source of influence.  Powerful listeners wield powerful influence. 

Have you mastered the skill of listening?

At HBR, business psychiatrist Mark Goulston, and UCLA leadership lecturer John Ullmen help you to become a master of listening.

To entice your curiosity, see the excerpts below.  Better yet, access the full article at HBR


For Real Influence, Listen Past Your Blind Spots - HBR

by Mark Goulston and John Ullmen


Level Four: Connective Listening - This is listening of the highest order, and it's the human listening that all of us crave. It's listening into other people to discover what's going on inside them. It's listening on their terms, not yours. It'sunderstanding where people are coming from to establish genuine rapport.

To master the art of Level Four Listening, resist the urge to defend yourself, explain yourself, or offer quick fixes. You can help more effectively later, when the time is right, if you don't pre-judge what another person needs (which might be very different than you think). Instead, remember that you are listening to learn. Ask questions like these:

  • What does that mean for you?
  • How do you feel about . . . ?
  • What do you think about . . . ?
  • What's your take on . . . ?
  • What's your perspective on . . . ?
  • What was your first reaction when you heard?
  • What's the best thing about that?
  • What else comes to mind?


Access Full Article And Other Great Stuff:


Mark Goulston and John Ullmen

Mark Goulston, M.D., F.A.P.A. is a business psychiatrist, executive consultant, keynote speaker and co-founder of Heartfelt Leadership. John Ullmen, Ph.D. oversees and teaches at the UCLA Anderson School of Management. They are co-authors of Real Influence: Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In (Amacom, 2013).

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